Permission is Powerful
What if I told you that giving yourself permission can be the powerful action that gets you what you want? The act of giving yourself permission is powerful because it allows you to honour what you need right now and create space for positive things to happen in relation to something you really want. I’m going to give an example of how permission has greatly helped one of my clients from being a prisoner to the “All or Nothing” mentality.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had an interaction with a client who has felt guilty for “doing the wrong thing”. In their mind, there are hard lines in place that keep their behaviours in line with achieving their health and fitness goals but, they feel they have overstepped. I’ve noticed there is something in common with this and similar situations this client and I discussed. That is these situations or events bring the client joy.
So now there is some confusion because “doing the wrong thing” is associated with the joy they feel for “doing the wrong thing”. But what if they reframed what they are doing?
Steve (not his real name) has an annual tradition on Australia Day where he joins a community of like-minded individuals down the beach to celebrate with some company, drinks, good food and laughs. Now when you read that sentence I’m sure all you can feel is joy, right? Steve however is 5 weeks into a 12-week weight loss program. When I checked his feedback and food log for that particular week there were some interesting comments about how he “didn’t want to log that particular day” as he felt ashamed to see what had happened. So he now feels shame for what should have been another memorable and fun Australia day.
Remember Permission is Powerful.
When we next caught up Steve and I spoke about what happens when he achieves his goal at the end of 12 weeks. Is the next Australia Day going to be the same or different? Why?
Then I asked Steve, what if I had given you permission to do Australia Day however you want? Would you still feel the shame that you do now?
In the greater scheme of things, I can see what Steve gets out of being included on a day like that. He is going to have a few drinks, and the food won't be the clean eating he has been getting used to over the past 5 weeks. However, he is going to be rested, recharged, full of energy from the connection with his mates and have a boatload of great memories to keep him going until next year. All of these positive things outweigh the negative of one day off dialled-in nutrition in 12 weeks.
So Steve and I have been working on his own ability to give himself permission. Not to continuously step over the boundaries but to look at a situation that comes up in his life and see exactly where it fits into what he wants and what he needs. So he can honour these and create the space for positive things to happen.
Do you have things in your life you can give yourself permission for? Are you giving yourself too much permission?
